Do Us All a Favor
by EE's Skysong
Summary: ...And just don't talk. Short, all dialogue oneshots, usually involving Hermione, Ron, and the twins. Ch. 4: 'You don't want to know how to make Miss Granger' 'She of the big brown eyes' 'Just fall right into your arms.'
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: "We're not very good at naming things. I once knew a man who lost both of his arms and part of his eye." "What did you call him?" "…Larry."

(An: I've read plenty of fics about Bill and Fleur's wedding where Ron and Hermione have fluffy confessions. I thought it would be much more like him to get absolutely sloshed and _then_ confess. Or… you know… just get sloshed. Before you say anything, _yes_, I know all-dialogue fics are confusing, but I did my best to identify each speaker, and sometimes it's just plain not necessary.)

"It was a lovely wedding."

"_Merci, _Hermione. I know we 'ave not always-"

"That's fine, Fleur. I wish the best for you both… um, shouldn't you get Bill out of the punch bowl?"

"Wow, she can run pretty fast… even in a dress that tight. And Hermione, you- you were… _nice_. To her... Don't glare at me like that! You've never been able to stand Fleur!"

"I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. Fleur's been handling Bill's… injuries very well- better than most of us- and I've decided that petty jealousies are silly reasons to dislike her. She's actually very nice… There's no need to look so surprised, Harry! I'm allowed to change my mind!"

"So you'll dance with me?"

"Ronald, you have three seconds to remove your hand from my bottom before I stupefy you! Three-!"

"…That wasn't three."

"Harry, do you honestly expect me to wait that long?"

"I kind of thought you'd enjoy it- ow! You didn't have to hit me."

"_You_ don't have to be so infernally stupid. I'm not going to put up with sexual harrassment-"

"Even if it's from Ron?"

"_Especially_ if it's from Ron. And I'm certainly not going to dance with him, not when his breath is probably enough to get me intoxicated."

"…Yeah, I wouldn't want vomit on my shoes either. …I always figured Ron'd be able to hold his liquor."

"And here I thought you were smart, Harry!"

"Fred-"

"It's George."

"_George_, he gave you money. It's obvious that, despite all his charms, Harry isn't very bright… why are you squinting at me like that?"

"Because I might actually be Fred."

"It's hard enough telling you two apart without you always yelling that you're the other one, you know."

"No, no, I'm George, but I might be confused. You just made a joke. That sets the whole world wrong."

"It's not _that_ strange, George."

"Um, actually, Hermione, I'm going to have to side with him."

"Harry!"

"Serves you right for the 'bright' comment- just because all of us don't bring a book to a wedding-"

"I did _not_ bring a book to the wedding! …I brought it to the reception! How did I know someone would actually talk to me?"

"Hello, Hermione, _I'm_ here. Mrs. Weasley's been somewhat cold to me ever since I dumped Ginny- well, actually, so has the whole family-"

"Mostly because I won the bet."

"Mostly because you're a pessimist, Charlie."

"Drop it, Fred."

"George!"

"You shouldn't feel bad, Hermione- not even family can tell them apart."

"No, Charlie, you're just blind. And a defeatist!"

"I thought I was a pessimist."

"You're both, and it's not the point. We should be _encouraging_ young Harry here, not betting against him."

"Can we please stop making light of my most agonizing decisions?"

"ANGST!"

"Well, Harry, they may not be sure if it's Fred or George, but at least they agree that your torment is amusing…"

"It's not to me… you can stop making that 'I'm sympathetic, but I'm laughing inside' face now. I'm going to enjoy myself, with or without your smirking face, Hermione!"

"So _you'll _dance with me!"

"Ron, I just bought these shoes. I don't want firewhiskey-flavored puke on them."

"…Ronald, how much have you had?"

"Try two bottles, and you'll be close."

"Not so, Fred! I have had…. two… AND A HALF!"

"I'M GEORGE, DAMMIT!"

"…Wow. Ron's actually a better tussler when he's drunk."

"And you find that surprising, Harry?"

"Hermione, why don't you love me anymore?"

"Shut up, Ron!"

"You know, I'd like to get some curtains in that shade of pink you've gone, Hermione, darling."

"Shut up as well, George-or-Fred."

"I have a black eye to prove that he's George!" 

"…Here, Ronald, let me get you some ice- that's disgusting."

"I told you he'd throw up sooner or later… Come on, mate. At least you didn't do it on my shoes."

"No, Harry, he did it right where we all have to step… Here's that ice."

"You're beautiful, Hermione… you and your twin sister."

"I said shut up, Ronald. Don't make me regret helping you… or vomit on my dress."

"You try telling my stomach that."

"Ronald-! Get your abdomen out of my face! …And Harry, quit laughing like that. If you keep rolling around, you might hit Ron's… um-"

"Good point. I don't want half-digested wedding cake on my tux. This is a rental."

"Plus whatever else he ate… goodness, you'd think with an iron-cast stomach like his, he could hold his alcohol better."

"Well, it _was_ two bottles."

"Two and a half!"

"Yes, Ronald, your copious alcohol consumption is absolutely fascinating… get your head out of my lap."

"But it's more comfortable than the ground."

"And I'll hex you into next week if you throw up on me."

"I only did it once!"

"More than enough, Ronald."

"Hermione, why do you keep calling me Ronald? I thought we were close friends! Don't I mean anything to you?"

"Stop that ridiculous sobbing noise at once. You're convincing no one."

"Hermione!"

"You're doing incredibly stupid things that you think are incredibly clever, which means you are still- ugh- sloshed. Therefore, I will not stand for you to sit on me."

"I wasn't sitting on you. I was resting on you. There's a difference… You still haven't answered my question."

"…If only to keep you from looking like a sulky puppy… You mean many things to me, Ronald Weasley, most of which I can't discuss in front of children."

"Hermione!"

"George, you've said a thousand things that are worse- and don't tell me you're Fred! I'm confused enough!"

"…Hermione, there aren't any children here."

"Did it honestly take you that long to process my statement? …Besides, I meant Harry."

"Hey!"

"You are kind of an easy target, mate."

"Don't rub it in, Ron. Everyone's been having fun at my expense all afternoon, and I haven't been having much fun at all."

"So dance with me."

"Um-! Ginny!"

"…Actually, Hermione, I've changed my mind. I'd like to get my drapes in that lovely purple color Harry's turned."

"For goodness' sake, Harry, Voldemort's yet to attack- and if you all don't stop staring at me like I've just sworn at the pope, I'll say it again- so I don't think he'll show."

"After all, he wasn't invited."

"…Wow, Ron, that was actually kind of funny. Maybe you're not as drunk as I thought."

"Ginny, your words are an arrow through my soul, a blood-red stain on my personal manly-"

"Ronald, I'll dance with you if you'll just please not finish that metaphor."

"…But you look like you're about to throw up."

"Having to contemplate that image, yes, I am, but so are you."

"I'm not a barf-grenade, you know."

"I-"

"The last thing Weasley's Wizard Wheezes needs is a barf-grenade, George."

"George is sobbing in the loo about how no one knows who he is, Ginny. I'm Fred."

"Oh, sorry. Now look, Harry, Ron and Hermione are dancing- sort of- without fear of either one of them throwing up. Can't we dance without fear of being attacked?"

"…Er…"

"Just jump him, Ginny. He looks flustered enough that he'll probably just pass out on the spot, and then you can tie him up and-"

"_Fred_!"

"But I thought you liked it kinky, dearest little sister."

"Fred, keep talking in that vein, and I'll tell Mum exactly who-"

"Right. Buggering off. I'm going to go find a therapist for George."

"My aunt's a therapist."

"Yes, but she's a muggle, Hermione… and I thought your parents were dentists."

"I said my aunt, not my parents, Ginny… my family's almost all in medicine of some sort."

"So you have someone who can help Ron when he passes out?"

"I'm not going to-"

"You know, I was almost going to say I like dancing with you, Ronald… I'm not cleaning that up."

"Wouldn't expect any less from you, Herm-o-ninny."

"RONALD!"

(Originally, this was just going to be a stupid oneshot, but then I realized that I had other ideas that would work well for all-dialogue (and that this would be my one hundredth fic)… So yes. This will be a bunch of all-dialogue (and probably unrelated) oneshots, probably R/Hr (and usually involving the twins) and definitely stupid. Updated whenever I get an idea (and the time).)


	2. The Photograph

Disclaimer: "Is it too much to ask for a little precipitation?"

(An: Everyone always writes about how Mrs. Weasley would react to Ron and Hermione, but no one ever says a word about Hermione's parents… which makes sense, considering they're never even named, but oh well. Obviously, this is set after the first book ends… they must have a group picture of themselves as littlies _somewhere_.)

"That's a lovely picture, dear. That boy there-"

"That's Harry, Mum- Harry Potter. I told you about him in my letters, remember?"

"I think you're a bit young to be hanging out with all these boys, Hermione."

"Dad! They're just my friends!"

"And this other one…?"

"Ron, Mum, Ron."

"Oh, yes! With those adorable freckles! …You didn't talk as much about him in your notes, dear."

"…That's because I'm not entirely sure if he's my friend or if he hates me. I think he is, but I'm never sure."

"That's how boys are at that age, dear. They're too silly to know what they want."

"…But you say that about Dad now."

"Because it's still true."

"Honey-"

"Don't give me that. Just because you don't agree doesn't make it any less true."

"Mum's got a point, Dad."

"…So how do you make the pictures move like that again?"

"It's a potion, Dad. I've shown you how I make it… you're just changing the subject."

"Oh. Yes. The boys. Why are you friends with so many of them?"

"…It just sort of happened, Dad. I told you, they're the only ones who… who talk to me."

"Don't you have any girlfriends, dear?"

"Um… Lavender… and Parvati… I suppose."

"You suppose?"

"They're so silly, Dad! All they ever talk about is-"

"Is…?"

"…Well, boys. Who likes who, what boys are cute, what to wear to class… it's so stupid. Harry and Ron are idiots too- _especially_ Ron- but at least they talk about sensible things… sometimes."

"And what do you think is sensible, dear?"

"…Homework and stuff. Spells. You-Know-Who."

"…Who is that again?"

"Never mind, Dad."

"So you never talk with- with Parvati about… boys?"

"Mum! That's silly! I'm eleven… I've got plenty of time to think about that later… when they're not such idiots."

"You've got a long wait ahead of you, dear."

"I know, Mum, I know."

"…So what are these… _boys_ like?"

"Harry's wonderful. It's nice having someone who actually understand what I mean when I say 'telephone' or 'sprinkler', instead of looking at me like I've grown another head. And Ron…"

"Ron…?"

"Mum, please stop using Aunt Mabel's psychiatrist tricks on me. It's very annoying."

"Sorry, dear."

"Ron's fine. He's a pain- he teases me… a lot…"

"Well, then, he's not really your friend-"

"No, Dad, he can be really sweet sometimes! …_Sometimes._ He's an idiot most of the time… but he understands me better than Harry. And he stands up for me when other people tease me."

"…Other people tease you?"

"I've gotten used to it, Mum… Ron kind of helps, actually. It doesn't bug me as much anymore."

"That's good to know, dear."

"Look at that- they're making faces at you… and you just hit them with your book."

"Don't worry. I've never resorted to that… although I've thought about it."

O-o-O-o-O

"So who's the girl in the picture?"

"Yes, Ronniekins, who's the girl?"

"Shut up, Fred!"

"I'm George today, didn't you hear?"

"No, _I'm _George. He was right. And very, very red."

"Shut _up_, both of you!"

"Ron, dear, don't speak to your brothers like that. Who's the girl?"

"That's Hermione, Mum. The know-it-all?"

"Oh, yes, her! …I thought you said you didn't like her."

"That was before, Mum."

"Before he fell wildly, madly, passionately in- ow! That's my foot."

"I told you to shut up!"

"Fred and George, please stop antagonizing your brother. Ron, please stop making faces at them… you know, I'd know more about this girl if you wrote once in a while."

"I do write, Mum."

"Two letters aren't writing to me, dear."

"Mum, I'm busy!"

"Even though we hate to side with the prat, we have to agree with him, Mum. First year's crazy… especially if you're friends with Harry Potter."

"Don't call your brother a prat. And yes, I understand that you're busy, dear, but you could at least add a P.S. to Percy's letters."

"Perfect Percy!"

"Mum, Percy's too busy! He always ignores me."

"Then why don't you just bring your friends over to visit? Harry's always welcome-"

"Of course he is-"

"And I'm sure this Hermione girl is very nice too."

"Hermione? _Come here_?"

"Look at that, Fred! Ronniekins almost choked!"

"She can't! She's- she's-"

"She's what, ickle Ronniekins?"

"Too bossy, for one thing."

"She _is_ bossy."

"And- and touchy."

"She _is_ touchy- hates it when we tease her, doesn't she, George?"

"And… um…"

"Are those all the reasons you can think of to dislike her, Ronniekins?"

"Honestly! She gets along with Percy, for one thing!"

"Fred!"

"George, Mum, I'm George today… And this Hermione girl, she gets good marks in all her classes."

"I don't understand why that's a bad thing… why are you all staring at me like that?"

"Never mind, Mum… Ron, why are you glaring at me like that?"

"Honestly, just because we're pointing out your lady-love might have a few flaws-"

"More like a few million… strutting around Hogwarts like she owns the place-"

"She does _not_! She only gets good marks because she's always got her nose in a book, and because of that she helped more than anyone when we were trying to get the Stone! She's smart!"

"And pretty?"

"SHUT UP, GEORGE!"

"Then don't call me George! I'm _Fred_."

"He's right, dear."

"Mum, don't you have something in the oven?"

"Good save, little brother. Just wanted to avoid talking about Miss Granger anymore, eh?"

"…Why do you think I don't want to talk about Hermione?"

"Because you invariably get embarrassed or angry when you do."

"Or overly defensive, can't forget that, Fred."

"Well, yeah, she's my friend, and you guys won't stop teasing her…"

"You mean like you do?"

"I learned from the best?"

"Oh, Ron, you have no idea how much that means to us!"

"Get off me!"

"But Ronniekins, we love you!"

"Just like you love Hermione!"

"What part of _friend_ don't you two get?"

"The part where you go all red and squeaky."

"I don't- okay, maybe I do, but you don't have to rub it in."

(I think a Lupin/Tonks is coming up- if I can make it stop being so damn serious- but the next one will probably still be R/Hr littlies. What can I say? The subject amuses me.)


	3. Furry Little Conversation Stopper

Disclaimer: "What would Sirius do?" "Shag her."

(An: Okay, so this one is more serious than the other two. I tried to avoid that… but goddammit if I don't love me some Remus!angst… because, after all, there wasn't enough of it in the books (/sarcasm).

"…We're graduating this year, Sirius."

"Yes, Remus, did you just realize that?"

"Well, I knew it, but it just hit me now. We're not coming back here next year. We have to get… jobs and stuff."

"Or concentrate on kicking old Snake Eyes's butt."

"Last I checked, that doesn't pay well. What are you going to do?"

"Haven't we discussed this before?"

"Not seriously… don't look at me like that. It's a good question. Have you even thought about it?"

"Of course I have. I can't mooch off James and his parents anymore."

"So…"

"So I'm going to be an Auror… and don't look so surprised! I've got the grades!"

"Somehow. …That is the most digusting face you've ever made at me. And that's saying something."

"So then don't make fun of my grades, Master Prefect. I do almost as well as you."

"Key word: almost."

"Okay, so what are you going to do, Master Prefect?"

"…Find whatever place'll take me, I guess."

"I thought you said you wanted to work for the Ministry of Magic."

"To try and improve my- um- rights, yes, I'd love to… but you know they'll never take me. Not with my 'furry little problem'."

"Oh, but the Ministry's so understanding! I'm sure they won't reject your application just because of your evil rabbit, Remus!"

"Thank you for that bit of encouragement, Lucy, but we're attempting to have a private conversation here."

"Okay, so if you won't work for the Ministry, why don't you just marry money, then? I'm certain if you stopped giving all these girls the cold shoulder, they'd be all over you."

"…I suppose if you're attractive to them, even I would be-"

"Hey, I'm hot stuff!"

"But the point is, no one's going to want to marry me."

"But Remus-"

"_Lucy_!"

"Sorry."

"We've been over this, Sirius. I've got no plans for that kind of… stuff… in my future… what about you?"

"What do you mean, what about me?"

"Do you plan on getting married, or is it just going to be casual sex until you contract syphilis?"

"Very funny, Moony. I'll have you know I always-"

"Thank you, Padfoot, quite enough. Just answer the question."

"…I dunno, honestly. I guess, if I find any one girl-"

"Who can hold your attention for more than the thirty seconds it takes for you to sweet talk her out of her panties?"

"This would be much easier to answer if you didn't keep interrupting me, you know."

"Sorry, Sirius."

"You don't sound like it, but I'll let it go. This time."

"…So, any one girl…?"

"Any one girl who can… well, okay, can hold my attention for longer than it takes to get out of my pants and into hers, can make me laugh… and, of course, is as stunningly gorgeous as I am."

"Is that it?"

"It's not like I plan to fall in love anyway. Look at what it did to Prongs and Evans, for heaven's sake!"

"I don't see what's wrong with having someone you love love you back… as well as manage to make you look like less of a cocky git most of the time… We should find you a girl like that."

"Remus, you cut me straight through the heart. Where did the love go?"

"Get off me!"

"I'm just saying that all love does is tie you down- and marriage even more so. Eurgh. How're we to take on ol' Snake Eyes if we have wives?"

"_We_ won't. You might, and James certainly will… but Peter and I… no. And don't tell him I said that."

"Why? It's not like he doesn't know it. You, though, we might have something there if you'd just stop moping all the time about your furry little problem."

"Because of my _problem_, I can't have a life."

"…Very interesting. Vhy don't ve start at ze beginning?"

"Your Muggle psychiatry bit isn't amusing in the least."

"It kept you from going into your 'Oh, woe is me, I've got a truly vicious furry little problem' shtick, didn't it? …And don't make that face at me, young man. When you're depressed, I can't get off."

"…And you thought _I_ was gay."

"Okay, so if you don't like the men, what would you like in the ladies?"

"Sirius-"

"Humor me. This is a hypothetical discussion. We're pretending that we won't get our asses handed to us by Ol' Snake Eyes and that we'll both find startlingly lovely lady loves."

"And that said lady loves won't care that you're a womanizing ass and I'm… me."

"You know, Remus, you're supposed to be the kind, even-tempered member of our group. Whatever happened to that?"

"I met you."

"Again! A thrust straight through the heart!"

"And again, you drape yourself upon me."

"I figure it'll be harder for you to dodge the question if I get in your face… that was uncalled for. If you didn't wish me to sit on you, you could have just said something, not drop me on the floor."

"I _did_ say something."

"Ah, but not the right something! You must answer my question, or once again face my ass of doom!"

"Okay, okay! I'd like a nice girl, preferably with sane parents and a nice job."

"Don't you know any other adjectives?"

"A _clever_ girl, then. Witty."

"We should find some twins."

"Or we could drop the subject. I'm regretting bringing it up."

"Just now? Damn, I was aiming for five minutes ago."

(Shorter than usual, but this one kind of fizzled out… I hope it isn't too noticeable. The next one will be more R/HRr stuff, I just needed to get some Sirius!Remus!interaction out of my system… by the way, if you have any suggestions for conversations you'd like to see, just mention it in, say, a review.)


	4. Fred and George's Present

Disclaimer: "I get the idea that a few people may have noticed we broke into Gringotts."

(An: I promise, no spoilers in this chapter. The only thing you will find out from me is Harry's seventeenth birthday present- which, I swear, is a Mark Evans (meaning it's mentioned once and never again). The first half of this chapter would probably be the summer after third year, and the second, sometime after sixth year.)

"How come you guys never tease Ginny?"

"Because Mum defends Ginny, she's our sister, she's more likely to cry, she's our sister-"

"I'm your brother!"

"As are Charlie and Bill and Percy-"

"Perfect Percy."

"We tease him a lot, Ron."

"I'm not looking for fairness, I'm looking for a bit of a break. Ginny is really obvious with her crush on Harry! I-"

"Admit that I have a thing for Miss Granger the size of the Hogwarts lake?"

"That I would love to wrap my arms around her like the giant squid that inhabits said lake?"

"Adore serenading her like the merpeople of selfsame said lake?"

"I DO NOT-"

"Fancy Hermione, we know, we know."

"Which one of you's Fred today?"

"Me. Why?"

"So I can punch you."

"Ickle Ronniekins thinks he can punch me!"

"Good luck catching him, Ronniekins."

"Okay, whatever. Look, I just want you guys to lay off a little, okay? It's driving me nuts."

"Which is exactly our responsibility as your brother, dear Ronniekins-"

"And exactly why we cannot 'lay off'."

"Don't try the dignified act with me, Fred-"

"_George_!"

"Sorry, George- It won't work. You're about as dignified as a-"

"It'd do you well to not finish that sentence, brother dear. We've got you backed up against a wall, and unlike Fred, you're not fast."

"…All right, whatever."

"Aw, look at that, George, he's sulking."

"I think we may have struck a nerve, Fred."

"Don't you two have someone else to annoy? Perfect Percy's home."

"A flash of hope! See it die!"

"At least Percy's not in denial about Miss Clearwater."

"I am not in denial!"

"Sure you're not… Cleopatra."

"Would you two bugger off!"

"All right, all right, brother dear-"

"But don't come to us when next you want to talk about Miss Granger."

"Why on earth would I come to you two? You're about as likely to help me as the ghoul!"

"…He's got us there, Fred."

O-o-O-o-O

"Hey, Ron, over here!"

"I'm not interested in testing any of your products, thank you very much."

"Lookit him. He's so grumpy."

"Might it have something to do with the fact that Hermione has just arrived here to stay?"

"More likely the Puking Pastille you put in my soup!"

"Ah, yes, that."

"That's one that never gets old, eh, George?"

"Of course not, Fred."

"Look, what do you two want? Because if making fun of me is all, I have-"

"Stuff to do, we know, we know."

"We just figured that-"

"What with Miss Granger newly arrived at our humble home-"

"You'd want a little help."

"I've told you a thousand times-!"

"Put a sock in it, eh, little brother?"

"Don't make us reconsider, Ronniekins."

"I _want_ you to reconsider if it means you'll leave me alone."

"…Well, then, Fred, I guess he'll never know our secret."

"Nope, poor lad."

"…Secret?"

"Oh, but you're not interested. We understand. You don't want to know how to make Miss Granger-"

"She of the lovely bushy hair and big brown eyes-"

"Yes, her- Miss Granger just fall right into your arms."

"…If it's a love potion, I'm not interested."

"We would never resort to such base methods!"

"…Not unless it was April, that is."

"Shush, George! It's not a potion."

"No hoodwinking involved."

"We don't recommend love potions where real attraction is involved anyway."

"_REAL­-_"

"It's no use denying it any longer, Ronniekins."

"We're family. You can trust us."

"I can- no, I bloody well can't! It'd be your idea of a grand joke to- to-"

"Accidentally let slip that you might-"

"Just slightly-"

"Fancy Hermione?"

"QUIET!"

"There's no point in _being_ quiet, brother dear. Everyone else in the family already knows."

"Frankly, we're surprised Mum hasn't started choosing a color scheme for the wedding."

"…Okay, look, what do you want? Seriously."

"Come closer, Ron."

"If any of the female members of the family saw us with this…"

"Well, we'd probably find ourselves on the receiving end of one _long_-"

"Ear-splitting-"

"Lecture… not to mention a Bat-Bogey Hex."

"…A book?"

"Yes, Ron, a book. Believe it or not, they aren't all useless."

"_Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches_? …You're right, Mum and Ginny _would_ kill you."

"You, now."

"…Huh?"

"It's yours, little brother. And before you ask-"

"It's not a trick."

"We're doing this from the kindness of our hearts."

"Besides, Ronniekins… you're really awful with women."

"Um… thanks."

"You know, George, I think that's the only thing we've said to him that Ron hasn't tried to contradict."

"Well, it's true."

"You don't have to rub it in!"

"Yes we do!"

"And does it actually work? …I'll take those smirks as a yes."

"Good luck, little brother."

"Oh, and please-"

"Don't snog Miss Granger in front of us."

"From what Ginny's said, you were bad enough with Lavender."

"I- …Fine, just leave. I've got reading to do, anyway."

O-o-O-o-O

"So, Hermione, how are you and Ron getting on?"

"Oh, for goodness' sake, not you too, Harry."

"What? I just wanted to know if-"

"We're not… we're not _dating_, if that's what you're trying to imply!"

"Well, I just thought-"

"Ron was just being nice for once in his life, Harry! …Come to think of it, he's been a lot more charming lately… it's very strange."

"Oh, I wonder why…"

"…Harry, why on earth are you grinning like that?"

(This chapter was written mostly to address my curiousity about why Fred and George, who are usually really nasty to Ron, would give him a book with advice about the ladies. …Also, because I wanted to write about Hermione reacting to Ron's sudden flair. So, um…. Review!)


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